Posts Tagged ‘Pain Implant’

A Wash.

Please forgive my blogger absenteeism; I’ve had 2 wires wrapped around my spine and sutchered to my back. For some reason (because my Doc told me so) I thought that this Neuro-stimulator trial would be easy-peasy. I am an idiot. You’ll be shocked to hear that it hurts like hell to have wires inserted into your body and sewn to you back (I’m a total idiot). Then you wander around for 10 days with all of the exposed stuff taped to your body and you pray you don’t accidentally yank it out. Oh, and you are supposed to be able to discern if it helps your chronic pain, which becomes really freaking hard to separate from the new throbbing in your back.

The trouble seems to be that most of my Doc’s patients are home on disability. My nurse showed visible shock when I told her that I would need to continue to go to my office and care for my daughters during the 10 day trial. Then she sort of gulped, wished me good luck and told me not to lift anything bigger than 5 lbs. Yup, my baby is 16 lbs. This was not going to be the trial I was sold on.

So what does one do when she comes home from a procedure that has made it problematic to care for herself, much less her family? She calls in the team, as much as she wants to be independent, she sucks it up and asks for help. I had a lovely wedding, beautiful baby showers, even a surprise 30th birthday party, but I have never been truly stunned by friendship. Consider me astonished. There was food on my door step every night, childcare whenever I inquired and beautiful trinkets delivered to cheer me. My husband took on the herculean task of handling me (my incessant whining) and our girls from 5 am to way-past-sane pm without blinking. I am blessed beyond reason with the sort of people who just do: they didn’t ask what I needed, they just knew.  They have taught me so much.

The week sucked. I managed to work and my family came out OK (if not better fed) on the other side. The trial failed. I’m trying to wrap my brain around the next one. But for now, I’m enjoying the fact that I can bend at the waist, shower and love-up my little ones whenever I wish. I’m digging out and trying to find the energy to fight again. And, I am awash in gratitude for the love I’ve been given.

The Littlest Rabbit

Just another weblog

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