Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Tandem Life

My husband says that bowls and spoons have become the symbols of this pregnancy for him. When I left for work this morning he was elbow deep in dirty dishes, for a pained pregnant wife, it doesn’t get sexier than that.

I have developed an addiction to granola cereal with raisins; it brings me comfort when my legs are crawling at 7am, fills an otherwise morning sick stomach and serves as a middle of the night fix (sometimes while sitting in the bath tub). The result is a kitchen sink constantly filled to the brim with granola encrusted bowls and spoons. I haven’t had the energy or ambition to keep up with much around the house, including the washing of dishes. It’s actually pretty out of character for me and I’ve had to learn to sit on the couch surrounded by things that would normally have me running for the vacuum.

I would never allow myself that luxury if I didn’t trust that my husband had my back. When one family member has a chronic illness, in many ways the entire family has a chronic illness.  It is always there, screwing with what would otherwise be a normal family life.

In the last 9 months my husband has washed an estimated 2 billion spoons and bowls. He trusted me when I said, “I can handle it, let’s have a baby” and has never thrown it back in my whining face. He washes my daughters clothes and keeps her from leaping all over my beached body at the end of the day. He buys the groceries, cooks, keeps the pets fed and has made the 9 pm run for ice cream. He has not only listened to a kabillion hours of pain chatter, from my bitching to my latest cure fixation, he participates in the conversation, keeping me from feeling like an insane and very alone person.

I fully concede that he does all of this with far more patience and endurance than I ever would. I’ll take the credit for discovering, loving and marrying someone that meant his vows. I’ll give him credit for keeping me afloat for the last few years, in a way many spouses cannot.  We are a team in everything, and yet I am grateful. He has a favorite song by one of our local musicians, Peter Mayer, and I couldn’t say it any better:

And when you move, I will too
I’ll lean left, I’ll lean right with you
Whatever road we ride
And I will love you in our tandem life

We’ll have good friends and children
Two beautiful baby boys
We’ll have laughter and sadness and joy

And we will fly these streets
When we find our feet
Turning right together in time
And I will be in your heart
And you in mine

Tandem Life

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