Posts Tagged ‘Endometriosis’

Bionic Mama

In one of my favorite childhood pictures I am standing, posed with my fists on my hips, in my Wonder Woman underoos. I have band-aids covering battle wounds on both knees and I am grinning ear to ear. I wanted so badly to be Wonder Woman, but it looks like I’ll have to settle for the Bionic Woman. Amazing legs, but her costume is very disappointing.

I do not have Endometriosis, I also do not have Cancer…perspective is everything. I’m recovered from my surgery and ready for the next solution: implantable pain control.  There are two types: nerve stimulator and drug delivery. The main goal is to control the pain with significantly less medication. I will start a nerve stimulator trial at the end of the month. It basically tricks your brain, making the pain sensation a good one (I’ve had some unmentionable recommendations as to what the sensation might be). I’ll have a wire implanted at my pain site and carry around a super fancy fanny pack for 10 days (maybe the Doc will let me use my Kate Spade instead). If it works, we will implant the pacemaker sized contraption into my back side – Ta-da! Bionic Woman!

Nerve stimulators are not super successful with my type of pain, but insurance likes you to test them. If it doesn’t work, we will move on to the drug delivery system trial. If you imagine the daily medication I am taking now is equivalent to a gallon milk jug, this system would lower it to a teaspoon. It delivers the meds directly to the spine, so you get better results without the mental and digestive side-effects. Same set-up as the last: pacemaker size machine implanted in the backside and refilled with an injection. Implantation can be a bit more dangerous, as it involves the spine.

My last pain clinic did not offer this as an option, telling me I was destined to take narcotics for the rest of my life. I am thrilled to have found another way around the looming dead-end. It feels a little dramatic, all of the procedures and such. But, I remain hopeful and grateful to live in the land of Medtronic. Thinking I need to do some underoo shopping in preparation…

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Praying for Endometriosis

I’m praying for Endometriosis. When My OBGYN told me I needed a surgical procedure, I lit up like a kid on Christmas. She and I laughed as we went over my (comically long) pre-op medical history. I called my husband from the car and he was happy to get the good news. I hung up the phone and realized how ridiculous this would sound to anyone outside of my little circle.

When you have undefinable pain, caused by a controversial disease, most of your Doctor visits involve a wild goose chase. Typically the Doc has a new theory, often based on a weird symptom that you’ve discovered. The second appointment is testing: CT scans, MRIs, tubes in places you’d rather they not be. (I once had a tube through my nose, down my throat and into my belly for 36 hours. The best part was that you could not swallow when they placed the tube. Right.) The third appointment is when the Doc tells you the tests show nothing conclusive. Back to the drawing board, tears in the car, “maybe I’m crazy, but that seems unlikely, as those psych tests were also negative.” It is wrenching and you find yourself praying for very weird things, like endometriosis.

Please don’t get me wrong. Endometriosis is a painful disease and I do not envy anyone who has it. I just want something with a name, something with a researched plan of action and I prefer it to be non-life threatening. So it looks like I will be the most positive person in my hospital this week. Please put me in your wishes, and please pray for Endometriosis.

The Littlest Rabbit

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