Sand in my shoes

swimsuitsI know it is a good summer when I can see the Chaco sandal Zs tanned onto my feet, and the swimming suits are drying on the line more days than not. The last few summers have not lived up to those measurements. Office florescence do not tan feet, and it is hard to convince a chronically pained body to haul the kiddos (and their stuff) to the beach after work.  Mellow has become the norm for what used to be my favorite season of the year. However, I have been given two unexpected gifts this year, and summer is back.

First, the pain pump I had implanted in April  is working. I have cut my oral medications in half, which also means cutting my side-effects in half. I’m AWAKE! I rarely need my nausea meds, which I was taking twice a day. And, I still have room to improve, slowly adding more med via pump. It is a revelation.

Second, my difficult recovery from the pump implant surgery led to the nudge I needed to leave my 40-hour a week desk job. Thanks to the investment and trust of my family & husband, I am now working for myself from home. It has done more for my health and wellbeing than any procedure or treatment has in 7 years. The ability to rest when I need it, to get better exercise, and to reduce the overwhelming stress has had major effect on my disease, even more than I imagined. More importantly, I have the bandwidth to be the parent I’ve wanted to be.

I really didn’t realize how deep into survival mode I was. There are things we do because we have to, because our families are counting on us. Even when we are sick. And this transition isn’t easy, we are far from fiscally stable.  But there has to be something in the fact that the last 2 months have been the best I can remember, I am becoming a person I recognize, and life is worth getting-up for again.

So, it seems I’ve received more than two gifts. If you count each day I take my girls to the pool, every pill I skip and every day I end sun-tired, instead of sick-tired, I am prosperous beyond imagination. I hope you too find lots of sand in your shoes this summer.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Elisa Aubrey on June 20, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    I’m extremely happy for you 🙂 ….(((((hugs))))))


  2. Posted by amy abts on June 20, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Finally! It’s about time! Well-deserved! Thank goodness. Happy happy happy for you and your family!


  3. Posted by Heather Von St James on September 17, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! Heather.vonstjames(at) Thanks!!


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