OK Ladies, if you have ever commented on a pregnant woman’s body – to her face – sit your butt down, this blog is for YOU. Lucky me, I have officially crossed over from cute baby-bump to ginormous, hope-this-shirt-covers-my-belly-dome.  Despite my constant uncomfortably and difficulty getting up from the couch, I am still taking great joy in this insane and miraculous process. However, nothing can drive me to an irrational rage, and then semi-depression, faster than another woman saying I look “huge” or “ready to pop”.  A. Who the hell pops?!? and B. You seriously just said that to me?

The comment would be enough, but then you stand there  looking at me, awaiting a response.  What exactly do you expect me to say? Where does this conversation go in your head? It truly flummoxes me. I find myself justifying my body to you, “I carry high!” or “It’s my second, just popped right out there!” Insert uncomfortable laugh and immediate clumsy exit, cursing F-you under my breath.

Men are not always know for their excellent communication skills or even tact. But ladies, they have us on this one. They clearly understand the rules as they pertain to pregnant women’s bodies. They do not, under any circumstances, tell you that you look whale-ish.  Women, I plead with you, take a page from the boy playbook and end the prenatal terrorism. Your stature as a woman, even as a woman who has had babies herself, does not give you free reign to pass judgement on how far out my belly button is sticking.

Pregnant women are easy to chat with, mention the word craving or ultrasound and we can vamp for hours. There is no need to turn the conversation to how big our breasts have gotten. Maybe try inserting the word healthy where you might otherwise spout massive.  Just please start thinking before you form words, I cannot take responsibility for the reaction you might get from me over the next couple of months. And, really, I shouldn’t have to. This baby stuff is hard work and I happen to think that pregnant women look awesome doing it.


7 responses to this post.

  1. Hmmm, I disagree with you that Men have it on the ladies on this one. I heard the “huge” “you’re going to pop” “when is that baby coming” comment equally from men & women! GRRRR! I was always dumbfounded when people said the ‘pop’ comment. Really? Who the hell says that? (and my first was 36 weeks & weighed 6lbs so it wasn’t like I was hUUUUUUUGE…geez).

    Ah well – You’re right – gestating is a LOT of hard work. And you’re also right – women look fabulous doing it! Good luck with all your commenters! 🙂

    ….any belly rubbers this time around?!


    • Looks like maybe I’ve just been lucky with my male interactions? No belly rubbers yet – but had a fantastic round with a drunk Scottish woman last time.


  2. Posted by Kara Carrier on June 21, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Oh, Malia – I can totally sympathize! When I was pregnant with my daughter I started to understand why people start maternity leave before the baby comes – it’s so incredibly frustrating to feel WAY too big and then have people comment on it. It’s like because pregnancy is a “natural” process, they feel totally comfortable making inappropriate statements about your size – something that would never happen if you were just fat.

    On the flip side, it took me so long to come down from the hugeness that I started wanting to take my daughter everywhere, as a kind of excuse for my state of slovenly deflation. Like I had to say to the world: “see, this is why I look like crap. Don’t judge me.” Don’t get me started on my gym appearance…

    At this point in my life, I’m remembering the large stages of pregnancy almost with fondness…as a time when no one looked sideways at you if you took that second scoop of ice cream. Honestly I think women can’t win: Either you’re giant and hating it (but harboring a baby) or your trying to get to a weight where no one gives you the stink eye or asks their neighbor “fat or pregnant?”

    Maybe that’s just me. I’m pulling for you dear. Good luck!


    • Seems like this whole phenomenon is just part of the 3 trimester, a symptom like insomnia and swollen ankles. One mom I know has been lying to strangers about her due date just to avoid the awkward conversation. I’m thinking about making T-shirts – “If you can’t tell me I’m beautiful, shut your mouth” 😉 I’m living in complete denial about the post baby body blues.


  3. Posted by Jen W on June 30, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    I think I have seen no less then 3 studies this year that heap on the evidence of the severity of chronic pain and its management and impact on care givers.
    How are the insurance companies skirting by still and able to deny access to treatment?
    I keep thinking about the adage “Take every ones problems and through them in a heap together and I bet you would quickly snatch your own back up”
    malia, today you are my hero. I don’t know how you do it. When do you get the shirts printed?


    • Thanks for the link – feel like I could have written it myself. Wish the whole medical field was as interested in listening to their patients.

      I really appreciate the words of encouragement!


  4. LMAO oh you are so very right! I was huge and hated any comments about my body!


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