Champion

My OB cursed me. After a clean and clear glucose test (thank God, this mamma needs her M&Ms) she said, “You’re making this look too easy!” My husband wasn’t there to share the war stories from home, so I accepted this victory and walked out of that office a little lighter, despite my ever growing belly.

In true form, I got about 2 hours of celebration before my Endocrinologist sent over crap news. Seems that most people treated for Graves disease  see a depletion in the antibody in their system throughout the following years. This person did not, my last test shows double the expected amount. Graves, know for its effects on the thyroid, is actually an autoimmune disorder. I’m learning now that after the RAI thyroid treatment, the disease remains quietly in your body for a lifetime. It’s potentially not so silent for my baby. It can threaten her heart, growth, thyroid and can cause preterm labor. Those couple of carefree hours felt so damn good.

After the necessary freak-out period (thanks to my friends who told me to get off Google and breath) I booked another level 2 scan with my Perinatologist and a massage (more thanks to the most fabulous mom group in the world).  There is nothing to be done but to wait and watch, two things I detest doing.  And, reducing stress, which can reduce the antibodies floating around. Can one be vigilant about relaxation?

The name we have unwittingly chosen for our daughter means Champion – noun, a person who has defeated all opponents. During this last week her kicks have become so strong that I double over, gasping and laughing in the same m0ment.  Mom’s protect their little girls with an unparallelled fierceness. We learn, sometimes reluctantly, to trust our daughter’s ability to care for themselves over time and after years of careful instruction. It is a lesson I am learning far earlier than I ever expected to. I am trying to trust the Morse code of her little limbs, I can’t help but feel that this little champion is already sending the message that she’s got this one, so relax and send more M&Ms.

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